No, the title is not a typo, or an incorrect use of “two”. The use of the word “too” in this second blog post is to name an attack strategy that The Judge uses.
Friends, I’ve noticed lately that The Judge loves to use the word “too”. Too fat, too tired, too nervous, too scared, too broke, too busy, too insecure, too, too, too.
Let’s think about the meaning of this teeny word that has such a powerful grip on how we think about ourselves. Of course, in this Internet age, I did what we all do, I googled “too”. This popped up first: “too, adverb, 1. to a higher degree than is desirable, permissible, or possible; excessively ‘he was driving too fast'”.
Honestly, when analyzing its definition, too isn’t a bad word. It has a necessary purpose and function within our English language. There a times when we ARE too busy, or too tired, or too broke to do something.
However, when TOO is used as a weapon, then it is dangerous. Then it’s not a realistic assessment of life as it is. Rather, it’s The Judge talking. When I’m on that tentative, fragile edge of breaking out of my comfort zone, but I don’t, I know it’s because I’ve listened to The Judge.
Case in point, for the past two years or so, I’ve let my hair grow out. I would get an occasional trim, and some highlights, but no real definitive style. One would think nothing of it, unless one knew the deep-rooted reason. I actually wanted a cute, sassy hairstyle. I had several pinned on my “I Feel Pretty” board on Pinterest.
So what was holding me back? The Judge. Whenever I thought I would take the plunge and do something different, He would say, “You can’t get that style–you’re too fat. It won’t look good.” Or, “You’re too old for that.” Or, “You’re too frumpy for that cut. You don’t have enough style to pull that off.” Mind you, the style I was considering was a basic reversed bob. Millions of women had the particular cut, and yet, I let The Judge convince that I wasn’t good enough to get it. And his most powerful, convincing word that he used was “Too”.
Until August 27, 2016. I decided on that day, that fat, old and frumpy, or not, I deserved to have the style that I wanted. I went to my hairstylist and showed her all the pictures I had on my board. We talked about color, the current length of my hair, and how my hair would look. We came up with a plan to transition with a few cuts and highlighting sessions to get the look I wanted. And I asked her how the style would look with the texture of my hair and the shape of my face.
My hair stylist didn’t know it, but she was My Witness. She never used the word “too”. She gave her professional opinion and recommendations. She reassured me and was actually pretty excited to do something different than “just a trim,” my standard order for over two years.
But the best news of all, is that I loved my new hairstyle. It complimented me. It lived up to my “I Feel Pretty” Pinterest board. It made me smile every morning as I got ready. It brought me joy. And you can never be TOO joyful.
So my advice, fire The Judge that is Too Negative. Hire the Witness that helps you become Too Positive.